Last time: Grief is a Mix Tape (for paid subscribers)
“All extremes of feeling are allied with madness.” -Virginia Wolff, Orlando
It isn’t that writer’s block isn’t a thing. I just don’t like to use that term. Not for myself. I haven’t been blocked lately from writing in that I don’t have ideas. I have insecurities and doubts about my many ideas, but that isn’t the same.
Writer’s block, at least to me, implies a negative space where I can’t put words together in a meaningful way. It feels vague and mystical, like saying I used to write but lately some force has stopped me…
My reasons for not writing as much as I originally planned this month (or this summer) are more concrete: travel, swim team, out of town visitors, work requirements, and viruses.
What I’ve come to realize about myself is that when I’m not writing or not excited about what I’m trying to write it’s because I don’t feel that special spark. That little glimmer of excitement and curiosity. Writers and artists know what I mean. Maybe non-artists, too.
Even though I hate when my students complain that if they aren’t interested in the topic for their essay, they can’t enjoy the writing or research process, I get what they mean. I’m the same way. If I’m not a little bit (or a lotta bit)) obsessed with my ideas, the spark fades so fast.
For the first novel I wrote (yet to be published), I grew obsessed with the restaurant world: waiting tables, bartending, the relationships formed in those environments. I devoured stories about other people in the restaurant business. Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential never left my desk.
I found menus intensely fascinating and could mostly be sincere when I called dinner part of my research. The obsession, the unending curiosity of that subject matter, didn’t falter. It kept me writing and revising for years.
I should stress the word “years.” It takes so much time to write a book (not to mention all other aspects of publication). If your level of interest in the subject doesn’t border on obsession, how will you stay in love with that project for the long haul?
My latest manuscript has also lasted due to my need to learn everything about grief, motherhood, Sylvia Plath, and the self-care industry. It’s like when anything related to those topics crosses my eyeline, a tiny part of my brain lights up. I never grow tired of the material. There is so much to learn, so many ways to bring these interests to life. So many layers.
That’s what I’m searching for now. I need a new obsession—probably more than one to sustain a project for years and years. As I toy with a few new ideas, I know that these obsessions and curiosities will likely be rooted in something I already partly know or love.
How does this manifest for you? What are your current or former obsessions?
Currently reading:
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
Body Work: The Radical Power of Personal Narrative by Melissa Febos
Have a great week! I hope your obsessions are healthy enough to let you sleep and work and wonder.
My current WIP has characters based or inspired by real life actors. I must have intentionally watched episode after episode of certain shows just to get “the voice“ right or to channel the inner muse.
While that proceeds, I’ve got a fragment of an idea for my next book which has turned into a Facebook timeline-filler of mammoth proportions involving headstone design. Take a peek and you’ll think I’m a gloomy goth teen. Not so much, or at least, not yet.
Thank you it is worth reading!