Artist Dates & Alone Time

New month, big joy

Add weird word graffiti to my list of favorite things

Last time: End of Semester Celebration Zombies (for paid subscribers)

“The scariest moment is always just before you start.”—Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

This semester, in addition to Morning Pages, I agreed to go on Artist Dates. It was all part of my “creative recovery,” a deep dive into Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. I’ve written about this before, how Morning Pages (and Night Pages) turned into Mourning Pages.

Artist Dates are still under consideration.

The quick version of Artist Dates

The Artist Date is one of Cameron’s two non-negotiable principles and they are outlined in The Artist’s Way immediately. “The Artist Date is a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you,” per her website.

This “date” can be anything to fill your creative well, so to speak. A trip to a book store or a museum. A long walk in nature. Finger painting.

But the Artist Date can’t be work and you can’t invite anyone. No friends, spouses, kids, coworkers.

If you know me, you know I had big trouble with this concept. Morning Pages were easy enough because I’ve been waking up early to write for years. Time to myself, though. Unspeakable! Cameron anticipates this resistant, but offers no shortcuts. The Artist Date is essential.

Here’s my question: do other people do this? I need to know. How often do you go out to a movie by yourself or an event just for fun? The comments are open for you and I’m genuinely curious.

My first Artist Date

First, I found an event that I wanted to attend. In this case, a local writer was scheduled to talk about his first book at my favorite independent bookstore downtown. A free event!

Next, I told my family about it and wrote the event on our kitchen calendar. Accountability works for me. Once it was “scheduled,” it would be harder for me to back out. I would miss dinner time that day, but they would survive without me.

Can I just say how wonderful it was to be out by myself? I sat at an empty open-air bar, ordered French Fries, and tried not to cry from glee. Then, I went to the event, listened to writers speak about their work, and bought too many books. It was heaven.

No children asking for help with homework. No emails chiming in the background. No helping anyone else get situated before I took care of my own needs. The glorious luxury of alone time when you haven’t taken time for yourself is something hard to express in words.

If you are used to alone time, this may not seem like a big deal to you. For me, though, this was a Very Big Deal.

Photo by Arnold Antoo on Unsplash

As much as I enjoyed that first Artist Date, I wasn’t able to keep it up all semester. I tried a few more times, but didn’t restart the practice until the last few weeks of the semester when I was the busiest and needed alone time more than ever.

Now that final grades have been submitted (cheers!) and I’ve finished Cameron’s book, I hope to revisit the concept of Artist Dates in the future. I also know Morning Pages and Artist Dates aren’t the only path to recovering my creativity.

You know what else pairs well with alone time and writing? A brand new writing space. I’m writing in a new room lately, with new lamps, and a new notebook. I’ve cleared out the clutter and redecorated my cork boards.

I’ve got high hopes for May.

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This is where my Teacher and Bookworm selves come out to play. At the bottom of every new post, I’ll share what I’m currently reading and offer up a writing prompt if you feel so inclined.

Note: I’m an affiliate of Bookshop.org and earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

Currently reading:

• The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz

• Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz: The Rebellion of Sylvia Plath & Anne Sexton by Gail Crowther

• The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich (listening to the audio and highly recommend!)

Writing Prompt:

This time I’m going to give you a topic and all you have to do is write. Don’t worry about how it sounds or what it looks like. No one is going to see it except you. No need to sound “literary” or proofread your spelling.

The topic: Alone time

For me, the absence of alone time is something I grieve. I think many parents of young children feel the same way (especially if they don’t have childcare or family nearby to help).

But that’s just me. Write about it in whatever form feels most natural. Poem? List? Recipe?

Later, if you’re a fiction writer, you might give this reflection to one of your characters. Or maybe you can turn it into the start of a personal essay. That part is up to you.

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Thank you so much for being here. I’m loving Substack and hope you enjoy it, as well. Please share Mourning Pages if you can.